In college, I lived on Ramen, Coke and potatoes. So when I graduated from college, and met the man of my dreams I had no idea how to cook anything besides potatoes. One night he left me with some pasta and asked me to make sauce. We had just gotten together and I didn’t want to disappoint him. I called my step-mother for help.
Well, over the years I’ve cooked more and more. I’m famous for my salmon dish and we will be serving it at our wedding in September. But since, I’ve gotten sick it’s been really hard for me to cook. I don’t have the focus at all. When I do cook, I have to remind myself every five minutes or so – you have food on the stove…you have food on the stove…you have food on the stove.
Well, yesterday I made white wine chicken for dinner. I didn’t clearly follow the directions and threw everything in the bowl together. It turned out a bit salty, but still edible. Sometimes I think I’m as good as I used to be, so I get frustrated when I can’t do the things that I used to.
Some of the skills I still struggle with – focusing enough to find something small, sometimes following conversations when people say a lot, focusing in general, planning ahead (I do this for the wedding, but I had all these ideas before and am just going forward with them with a lot of help from Seiya), remembering a sequence of things or short term memory in general, doing things impulsively. And the hardest one for me of all is time. I can’t seem to process time.
I keep hoping these skills will come back to me, but people remind me that I’ve come a long way. I just fear they never will come back. Everyone reminds me – patience! patience! I’ve never been a patient person.