Getting the Police in on this S— and the Art of Pooping Outside

I was walking from my doctor’s office back to the train station today when I realized I was in desperate need of a bathroom.  Now I have definitely been in worse situations before, but I was trying to avoid one of those situations.  I called S to see if he was driving around anywhere that would be convenient to pick me up. He was comfortably at home.  With as often as I call him, I try to only ask him directly to come get me when it’s really necessary.  This was not one of those times.  I saw a Gulf station.  I thought ‘Gas stations have bathrooms right?’ I asked the attendant if I could use the bathroom.  He apologized and said that they only had one for employees….but the police station next door had one.”

I have been to a police station few times in my life. Maybe once or twice on a field trip (perhaps most notably a time when I took my students and one student said ‘so this is where my dad was Friday night’) and as part of a D.A.R.E. type program in middle school.  I always feel so intimidated being at one.  There were two police officers outside talking. I asked about the bathroom and they said, ‘Go in and the guy at the desk can buzz you in.’ I went in and there was nobody at the desk.  There was nobody around. I waited ten minutes before I decided to give up.  I knew there was a Dunkin’ Donuts and a Panera nearby.  I would be okay.  I walked out and shook my head to myself.  The police officers said, ‘Miss, did you get to use the bathroom?”

They let me in and buzzed me in and then apologized profusely for having had me wait so long before.

When a girl has to go – a girl has to go.

This, however, has had me talking with S about reviewing bathrooms on here or adding to a site about bathrooms.  Well, here’s a tip.  If you are ever stuck in Southie without a bathroom,  Burger King will let you use the bathroom but you need to ask for a key. Gulf doesn’t have one and the South Boston Police station has a clean one and the police are friendly.

This also has had me talking with S about the 5 star rating system for pooping outside.

1 – You find some privacy
2 – You find a hole
3 – You find privacy, a hole and some moss or leaves
4 – You find privacy, a hole, moss or leaves and a view
5 – You find privacy, a hole, moss or leaves and a view and a bunny or deer pops by.


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