I trudged down the alley that connected the supermarket parking lot and the street where my old mill building apartment sat on the corner. I was carrying $70 worth of groceries and I was proud. At only 4″ 9 3/4, I thought of myself as strong mighty pack mule. If I could carry these groceries, I could carry anything. A bright blue backpack full of produce on my back and two bags on one arm and one on the other I was ready to take on the world. YAW!
I climbed up the two flights of stairs to my apartment and walked down the hall hoping that someone would notice and be impressed. Finally, upon reaching my apartment I set down the bags and made a mad dash for the bathroom. I had to pee!
All day I busily worked around the kitchen thinking of myself as strong. If I could carry those bags, then I could possibly handle going back to work. Though I did feel exhausted.
Seiya arrived home late as he had dinner with his sister. so we were up fairly late. And that’s when all $70 worth of groceries landed on my right hip. Laying on my bed talking to Seiya at abut 11;30pm a muscle in my hip started spasming. I had a cramping pain in the hip and spreading down to the foot. I usually shake things off fairly well, but this was horrible cramping. I tried ice. I tried Excederin. I tried massaging it myself and then I tried having Seiya massage it. He thankfully got it to a tolerable place. It was at that moment that I realized perhaps I’m not as strong as I thought.
It’s moments like that that I’m reminded how much my body hates me. I often think at 34 – I shouldn’t feel this way. But the best thing I can do is to accept that my body DOES feel this way and to take measures to ensure as little pain as possible. Eat healthy food. Drink water. Exercise. Get enough sleep. Reduce stress.
Sadly, it is not always easy to do the latter. Just today Seiya dropped a mini bomb on me – his family is coming to town to discuss the future of our relationship (as if they have a say) It’s a challenge to date someone from another culture, but because he’s the right person -worth all the extra stress.
I had an emotional reaction to the stress as did my body. I got angry and confided in a friend, family and our relationship counselor My body also had a reaction and decided it didn’t like what it had just taken in so it needed to rid me of it one way or another. And after my first lesson today I spent the 20 minute break in the bathroom and only with my constant companion Immodium AD was a I ready to return to work. I was nauseous but I found through the lesson. This reaction is a reminder that I am not healthy. Perhaps it may be stress, but my condition isn’t stress alone, but exacerbated by stress.
However, I fight on! I AM a warrior OUCH!